May 28th, another month n a bit has passed, I'm sure there's tons to tell myself, but I'm just short of time. Study is going ok, but I decided to stick to an actual program, like doing the lessons each week, so that's 6 lessons, 6 days, n I still work 4 days, of couse they put my stuff online 2 weeks late so I'm madly catching up. It's just something I would really like to try, I've always skated by doing everythig at the last moment. Last yar, because of my job, not cos I was slack, I did all the work in the last 3 weeks, I got 2 credits, 2 distinctions and 2 high distinctions, I should kick arse if I actually stick with this doing it the right way. MAYBE what if I do well cos it's all fresh in my short term memory, but I haven't really learned anything.
I'm still trying to build a website, not having much luck with it probably lack of time to learn, also I could be thick.
Husbands n partners hey, how farked are they??? I'm sick n he's gonna cook for me, bacon and eggs, I asked for tomato, mushrooms n baked beans too, the look happens. It's less effort than I go to for meals all the time, even more effort when he's sick, oh well such is life.
I believe that if you prepare food with love and care it's better for the people who eat it, I'll never know what that's like, cos having meals cooked for me isn't something I'm used to.
So planing retreats, n planning an event for work, n planning to get my study finished, planning to retire and live on our boat for a while, seems like nothings ever actually happening, just planning all the time. We've had that yacht since 2011, n now it needs work cos it's sat there so long, I don't think spending my life with a Libran was my best plan, cos planning I do while he sits on the fence never actually doing anything. Retirement will force that soon, sooner than he realises. Cos that retiring at 70 shouldn't effect us, we're too close now.
Oh yeah, I wanted to use this to keep track of my Graves disease progress, I'm feeling better sometimes, and know this medication is doing it's job, even though the doctor thinks this is just the start of treatment. I know a lot of the problem is my hypothalamus, so I'll try to work on that lots.
I took some GinSeng, it made me full of energy and hot at night, so clearly not the right thing. I haven't had any smoko for a few days n had headaches, my bloo pressure is too high without it, and our guy has moved to Townsville, n the main guy has moved to New Guinea, that's shit, my herb garden clearly needs new herbs.
Ok blahdie blahd enough now, State of Origin is on. Bye me

Liver cleanse didn't last, visitors sleeping in the lounge stopped me juicing. Still eating well and trying my best to stay off wheat. I will begin the cleanse again, it was quite good and not too far from my actual diet.
I thought that I had issues with my hypothalamus the doctor told me it was my thalamus, I believed him that I was wrong. My studies this week showed me that I had been correct, knowing this is going to help me get some real healing done. I think ginseng is my next thing to try, hope I can find some fresh at the Asian shops.
The medication is helping, I just wish I'd remember to take all of the doses I should, but who remembers to take a pill 3 times a day? I need to be really well to operate a retreat with any sort of integrity.
I think with this government in power my workplace won't be funded again so I need to be prepared. I think I know what to buy, getting the money is a bit tricky. I'll rent what I have to and look for grants to run one for youth or survivors of sexual assault or domestic violence. It takes time, I have study, work and mouldy walls that require lots of attention, or maybe the dry season to start, IT"S MAY.
I hope my drum and school books arrive soon, I'm nervous about this drum, there were good and terrible reviews about this company, it's been 11 days since they sent me the notice of it being sent, from Melbourne. Fark.

 Began building my website, went back into it and it was all wrong, all the editing I did seemed to be gone, in fact there was a completely different template, I did hit save, but guess there's more for me to learn. OH well.
Ok, dear diary, I have some stuff I'm thinking about, but I need to study, running these retreats is my retirement

Indigo Moon Back and better

It's been a long time since i wrote here, so busy or so something.
Anyway, had a job looking after young indigenous people taken from their families n living in residential care. Overnight, supposed to sleep, shittest job I've ever had. I worked on a potatoe harvester in the Dandenongs, freezing!
THEN I came over to Respect, a Sex Worker support and education organisation, I love it, 20 hours a week, the nicest people to work for, kind, understanding, pro-active. BUT there's low money, I couldn't live off it. Still studying though, Diploma in Shiatsu, so far I've done Massage Therapy 1, Remedial Massage 1, Shiatsu 1, Acupressure 1, Communication 1, Anatomy and Physiology1, still haven't even begun my studies this year, I think the transition might be a bit of a fark up.
BUT, I believe that my long dreamed of Retreats are about to come into fruition.
SO this just became a to do list, I've moved it to a to do list.
I'm busy planning and preparing so that I can run a retreat this year, and some Reiki training. I seriously doubt that this government will be funding a program for sex workers, even one that's focus is HIV and Hep C, right in their target groups. Oh well, this kick starts me to my Indigo Moon phase of life. Cool, thanks shitty government. Queensland, never known for their benevolence, will just love having Tony Abbot to back them.
I'm going to look for grants in the private sector to get me kick started, and to get some good healing to the peeps who need it and can't afford it.
Think I'll aim the first ones at Domestic and family violence, then maybe Youth ?  Very maybe, then Alcohol and Other Drugs. I'm thinking, I'll make the group match the funding opportunities.

I've finally got myself a drum, looking online and was attracted by a carved star on a drum, it actually  looked like a star fish, in the picture, so I looked a bit more, there it was, a mahogany drum with a dragon carved out, you know, so the dragon is out not in, it's awesome. I just went to look at it and found two very scary reviews saying that they didn't receive their drum, but many who were very happy. But the websites all munted, I'll look into it, I really like the dragon djembe, and mahogany seems to have a nice deep tone.
I'd like to have some months getting back into the swing and learning new ways to offer some great experiences, ready for the big beginning.

I think that Cape Tribulation and out that way is perfect for healing, I'm heading out that way to find the perfect place, over the next few months people out that way will be getting to know me. YAY, Dream come true.

I may be losing this epic battle with my sugar addiction, the McFlurry I had this evening tells me that. I have begun to search articles about why sugar is bad for us, the first search brought up 224,000,000 results in 17 seconds, making me think that many people feel very strongly about this topic.
The first one I read says sugar isn't bad as long as we have it in moderation, this was referring to sugars from fruit and kind of ignoring processed cane sugar, n that's what I'm talking 'bout.
 

"We actually need sugar; it's our body's preferred fuel," says Dr. David Katz, director of the Yale University Prevention Research Center. "But we eat too damn much of it."

Naturally occurring sugar -- which gives fruit, some veggies, and milk their sweet taste — is perfectly healthy. It's added sugar (sweeteners put in during processing and prep) that we need to not OD on.

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/10/30/health/sugar-bad

OK I know that bit about naturally occurring sugars, that’s why I love water melon and oranges.  Processed cane sugar didn't get a mention .

I’m having trouble with lots of sites timing out, maybe that means I don’t need to know this information!!!!

So far that fact that I have had to stop eating wheat has been the best thing for me, my old best friend and worst enemy TimTams are no longer on my menu.

I became a grandmother on May 11th, a beautiful baby girl, Aurora, I want to live long enough to enjoy time with young Rory as she grows up so this battle will rage on.

I'll add a photo of the life saving princess soon.

Even though I'm my only reader, I'll continue to blog my battle.

So giving up sugar may be too hard, hate to be defeatist already but, faaark sugar is like air!!!!!!!
Anyway I went to the huge rip off organic store, I spent an outrageous amount of $$$s on chocolate, it has unprocessed, much better for me sugar, I'll wean myself, I know right?
It's all gone, and like any diet, when you are trying to go on a restriction of food for weight loss, health, preparing for a sports event or surgery, all you can think about is food, primarily the food that is being restricted.
So will power is what I need, well kind of won't power, or will to won't power!!!!
Lets see how I go, I have had plenty of sugar but very little processed sugar, that could be a plus.

It's been a long time since I blogged, 'cos I live such a boring life. The weather is cooling down and becoming that beautiful Cairns weather we came here for. Time to go sailing.

I'm heading to Darwin for the Birthday and day of her giving birth of my beautiful daughter. I hope not the same day but these things are out of our hands, if we do it right.

After that time to get sailing, I plan to snorkel that Barrier Reef as much as I can this dry season, there should be good photos. Gonna get real diving gear next n have the best retirement we can manage.
Will have to get as many trips in as we can while the weather is right.
Need a good shipwright to make nice sleeping quarters, till then on deck under a mozzie net is nice.

BUT for now I have a challenge for myself, to lose my sugar addiction, it's HUGE, I've had this addiction for as long as I can remember, I call it a sweet tooth, but its an addiction.
So I try to cut it down first, pretty hard with the habits I have, n how I love to eat sugary foods. BUT mozzies n other bugs love sugar too, and I'm going to do mobs of research into why sugar is a poison in our bodies to try and make myself give it up. Maybe I'll make a movie, "the Clockwork Orange Lollie" kind of thing. Anyway less sugar than usual in my decaf this morning, and none since. See how I go.  :)

I have another theory!!!
BIG TOUGH AUSIE BLOKES DO NOT GET DEPRESSED, they just live with bitches.
 I know right??!!
I realised this a lot of years ago, but find it may be more prominent in the Territory, but statistics tell me it's all over this fine country of ours.
So women think about how much we facilitate this behaviour, think about how many generations we want to keep behaving this way. How many do we want to lose to suicide after all those years of care? Or do we just not want to be glad, years of untreated depression will do that, and alcohol and ganja are not treating it, just accelerating the process.
I now live with a not tough Ausie bloke, who doesn't blame for every feeling he needs to confront in life. PERFECT